Remembrance of Kim

by Lane Smith

Great art, like artfull life, is composed of what’s absent (its negative spaces) as well as what’s present. That’s why exquisite memories keep Kimberly Perez alive; she’s OUR GIFT, OUR PRESENT. Kim, my special gift . . . my present . . . in retrospect:

From the very beginning we gravitated to the same volunteers and, particularly, to one another:

Important Peace Corps occasions always seem documented by paired photography. (See photo one)

Throughout our training – when certain techniques were employed to expose ‘who we are’ – we’d meet on unlikely common ground; (e.g.) both of us ‘crossed the line’ in the same direction, in response to the order “All those who are ‘black’, cross the line to the other side of the room.”

We both felt compelled to dance, whenever local drummers could be heard.

On cherished occasions shared with our respective village families, we included the other – such as when I introduced my family on Valentines Day (complete with red clothes, gifts and food! (See photo 2)

Going ‘AWOL’ when our spirits required it, we sought freedom TOGETHER; (e.g.) our prolonged sail to Mozambique! (See photo 3)

What did this all signify, given 2 people so differentiated by age, culture, education, experience, material/social/spiritual backgrounds AND self-evaluation: Kim always striving to be validated; Lane, always striving to validate!? Perhaps that’s what explained the adhesion! I virtually pummeled Kim’s ego – not to challenge it negatively, but positively (see photo 4)  . . . to force her to recognize, utilize, spread her POWER. (See photo 5) I made Kim realize that one Commandment only is universally observed: “Love thy neighbor as thyself;” WE ALL DO! MOST OF US, LOVING OURSELVES VERY LITTLE, LOVE OUR NEIGHBORS EQUALLY LITTLE!!

Kim showed this trait in a contorted way: her moodiness, her easy excitement to irritability showed her inner neediness. But constant striving revealed both her sense of inadequacy and her determination. She agreed that “only those who go too far know how far they can go.” From different incentives, we shared incentive!

I, considering Kim a ‘work in progress,’ worked on her with ‘tough love.’ She welcomed the toughness because she trusted the love. Whatever critique she overtly resisted, she proved her gutsy submission to it … through her continuous growth. Perhaps our relationship made me a ‘sister’, by its reflection of domestic relationships with her brothers. Could that be our connection?

Whatever it IS, I feel that Kim is still developing herself, and winning points in ’heaven.’